When you’re in the closet, you do a lot of stupid things. And your judgment of character is thrown way off. Sex for one. Seeing sex as sex and not seeing the underlying precautions it may have.
Here’s a quick recap: Last year I shared a story of a guy named Alex, who outed me in high school which caused me years of pain and depression in my life. I wasn’t ready to be out and ‘labeled’ as gay- but he took it away from me. I confronted him and the last words I said were “Fuck you, I hope you’re happy.” I never heard from him since.
Cut to nearly 6 years later, I get a ding on my phone. And it’s him.
I was shocked as you could imagine. A short message that I was never expecting. 6 years- not a word said to each other- and he comes out of the blue in hopes to hear from me.
And he did.
It wasn’t a long conversation. It was quick. Easy. Painless. He apologized for what he had done to me all those years ago. And there was no hesitation or worry to respond. I told him it wasn’t right- but it’s okay. And that I forgave him and hope he found comfort in my reply. He asked if we could start all over in hopes we could meet.
I denied. I thanked him again for apologizing and I apologized for the trauma I caused him as well.
Falling in love with someone in the closet is a tricky thing. Especially if it’s the wrong time and with the wrong person. We were never meant to be more than just a hook-up. He was my first and he taught me a lot about myself and what I wanted and needed. That was one of the many experiences that made me stronger and brave enough to come out.
After 6 years- he and I could both close this chapter in our lives. No more resentment; no more skeletons in the closet. We found closure. And it felt grand.
It may have taken 6 years, but 6 years is what Alex and I needed. Because here’s the thing, when it comes to mending loose ends, we need all the time to nurture and heal.
Do you have any loose ends? Were you able to close that chapter? Share with us in the comments!