Happy Pride Month!: Let’s Talk About Age Gap

The sun is out, birds are chirping, flowers are blooming and not a rainy cloud in the sky. It’s not just June- it’s Pride Month!

This month, I want to discuss topics and experiences within the LGBTQ community. From stereotypes, love to heartbreak, relationship to single life- and more! Today’s topic:

THE AGE GAP

Age is just a number?. . .Right? It is quite common to see age gaps in LGBTQ relationships. Younger guys falling in love with men two times their age. Often times seen as a daddy/son kink relationship, it’s much more than that. Age is not the problem, but there are things to think about. 

When we see a younger gay man with an older guy, we either think he’s a gold digger or has daddy issues. In some way, the statement isn’t necessarily wrong. Research show that gay men crave the attention and care from an older figure that they wish they gained from their fathers during adolescence. And this can potentially shape the type of men they are attracted to.

For instance, growing up the relationship between my father and I was close. But my fear of my sexuality and fear of my father not loving me due to my sexuality psychologically shaped my taste in men. I craved the acceptance from an older mature figure and craved the guidance and nurture that I was so afraid of losing. 

My first romantic relationship started with about a thirteen to twenty year age gap. Hesitant at first, you start to think about how would this relationship work. Would we have kids? Will we move in together? Would I just be left with a kid once my partner has passed? Or worse- alone? 

These are all examples of valid questions that need to be talked about openly between you and your partner. There has to be a mutual understanding of what each person wants in order for a relationship with an age gap to work. 

A statement that I found holds true is that age matters, but doesn’t. Meaning, the relationship shouldn’t focus more on the age, but the compatibility between those involved. You should be able to share the same beliefs as well as be supportive and open about each others differences. There should not be one having more power or control over the other, but an equal give and take.

Yes, there are potential concerns like any other relationship. Such as the sex drive and marriage. But to answer the age old question- no. Age gaps do not matter. What matters is having the same mutual beliefs, trust, and understanding to make a living and healthy relationship work. 

What do you think about age gap in relationships? Do you have any experiences with age gap? Share with us in the comments! 

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