Most of us fear change, but- as we all know- change is inevitable.
Things change. People change. That includes me. And that includes you.
By: Jason Suerte Felipe
Things are not always written in the stars and set in stone. We are each the author of our own book. Some having more pages than others. Some having a sea of words. Some with very little. And some having covers worn from life’s experiences.
Often times I find myself stuck on the same page. Rereading the same paragraphs; same words. Words with sharp edges and curves. Words that hurt me. You don’t deserve better. You aren’t good enough. You won’t find what you’re looking for. You aren’t worthy of love. What is the point.
And rereading those lines over and over again only seemed to hurt me more.
But if there is something that I’ve learned- a chapter is not the book. We won’t be the same person twenty chapters ahead than the person we are now. Each chapter comes new experiences and new reflections- we just have to turn the page.
But for most, including myself, that’s where the struggle lies. I’m sure most of us wish we could just tear out a page from our life and skip a few chapters; wiping away every painful memory. But it’s within those highs and lows where we find ourselves and where we find others.
So why do we fear change? Simply put- it’s the unknown. Not knowing an outcome leads us to speculate and create these fictional, and often times irrational, endings. Making us afraid and stopping us from progressing. It’s the fear of the unknown and the fear of failure that feeds our aversion to change.
I’ve seen many sides of me that I’m proud of and sides that aren’t so pretty. Moments that have left me scars and a shattered illusion of self. This caused anxiety, depression, a flux in my mental health and even stopped me from progressing with personal projects. I was stuck. And it was within those moments where I began to think- what if we’re all just changing for the wrong reason?
We shouldn’t change for anyone but ourselves. Bettering ourselves and growing, writing a new chapter as we go. But in order to flip the page and start the next chapter we need to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Allowing change to happen.
“To become the author of your life starts by refraining your relationship with uncertainty, impermanence, and perfectionism.”
I came across an article by PsychologyToday that has helped me with my struggle with change.
Here are 3 things to keep in mind
1. You Have Choices
Remember that you are the author of your book. Think about the behaviors and thoughts that you are going through and evaluate if that is the person you want to be.
You don’t have to be stuck between who you are and who you want to become.
2. Failure Is A Stop, Not A Destination
You are not perfect. You have your flaws. And that’s okay. But do not use your flaws as excuses to not change. Instead, acknowledge your failure and see where to go from there.
Where is this behavior coming from? Why do I feel this way? What can I do to move on and learn from this?
3. Let Go Of Your Manuscript
Stop closing the doors to new chapters. Everything is not written in stone. And if things don’t go your way, don’t dwell in the change- embrace it.
I know most of these are easier said than done. But that’s just how it is. There will be pages that stop you in your tracks, and that’s okay.
But don’t lose awareness of the present, or you’ll stop enjoying what life can bring you.
“Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.”
See what it’s about here!