Years ago, I was in a relationship that would soon turn into long distance. Of course, there were general concerns if we’d be able to make it work. And one of the concerns was sex. Before leaving, my partner at the time suggested: should we have an open relationship? Of course, being the insecure idiot that I am, scared of losing my partner- I reluctantly agreed.
By: Jason Suerte Felipe
In my experience, if people want to be in an open relationship, all parties have to want it. And there should always be honest communication. Always. I only emphasize this because this can’t work if you or your partner are keeping secrets.
My partner and I created rules for us to abide by and everything was fine. . . until it wasn’t. I would start to get jealous and feel anxious. I felt I wasn’t good enough when my partner found it easier to hookup with others guys, when I struggled to do the same. I would wait around anxious to hear how it went, unable to do anything because it would be all I would think about. And instead of sharing how I really felt in the beginning, I decided to silently deal with the jealousy and bitterness knowing and hearing about my partner have sex with someone else that wasn’t me.
And even though I had agreed to that lifestyle, it made me petty as all hell.
The whole idea of being okay with your partner sleeping around was just so foreign to me. One of the hardest issues was meeting hookups-turned-friends. When I would visit I would of course meet his new friends, knowing the ones that my partner has been intimate with. This wasn’t coming from a place of immaturity (hopefully) but why on EARTH would I want to meet somebody my partner was inside of?! That is all I would be thinking about when meeting them.
However, I do believe there are people out there in the world that prefer open relationships. I have met people that are in happy, successful and healthy open relationships. And if people found each other and could make rules and follow them respectfully and were honest and loving, I think it could work. But in my case, it just wasn’t for me.
As long as you are honest with your partner and you both are on the same page- go for it. Be honest about your emotions and if you find that it’s not for you, speak up and have a conversation. Find a love that works for you.
What are your thoughts on open relationships? Do you think they could work? Why or why not? Share with us in the comments!
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Writer’s note. I apologize if I skip a day here and there. Work gets in the way and sometimes I do need a break to refresh. But I am taking this Project very seriously and am loving it every step of the way! Thanks for reading!