Relationships can come to an end. And although it may feel like it, it is not the end of the world.
Now let’s not sugar-coat it- breakups suck. But that doesn’t mean we have to feel broken forever. Movies have taught us that the only way to get over a breakup is by eating a single tub of Ben & Jerry’s, hooking up with the next person you see, or even seeking revenge on the one who broke your heart.
Though tempting, all would be damaging and you’d be getting in the way of moving on. (Though a bit of ice cream won’t kill ya!)
Unfortunately, moving on is easier said than done. Breakups can affect us in different ways and can even put our physical and mental health at risk. In most cases, breakups can affect our appetite, alter our sleep patterns, cause us to isolate ourselves from family and friends, and can even leave a tremendous impact on our self-esteem and future relationships.
Think about it this way:
Love is like a drug, and after a break-up, we start to feel the withdrawal.
It’s not easy walking away from a place where you once felt comfortable and loved. And it’s only natural to want to stay. But it’s important to reevaluate and acknowledge why you broke up in the first place. Consider how you felt within your relationship and decide if staying would make you happy in the long run. If you know the answer is no- it’s time to let go.
For most of us, it is difficult to pull the trigger. Nobody wants to be the one that ends something that was once so special, even if we know it’s best to let go. And when the time comes to say goodbye, it can feel like our entire world is crashing down. Some never truly get over their first heartbreak and it can even trigger a lifelong depression.
According to Psychology Today’s “Bad Breakups Cause Depression”, “stressful events that involve both grief and humiliation, such as messy romantic breakups, are linked to higher risk of major depression than ‘merely’ painful events, such as the death of a loved one.”
It is remarkable what love can do to us and how heavy of an impact it has on our mental and physical health. That being said, it’s important to watch out for warning signs. Dealing with a breakup is never easy, but with the right mindset, you can take baby-steps and learn to move on.
Check out this article on how to get over a breakup and change your mindset.
The time where you are at your lowest is the time you begin your journey to self-discovery.
Understand that breakups do happen. So instead of criticizing yourself, be kind to yourself and find compassion. Breakups can be a long process, but you can start by acknowledging the breakup, accepting it, and be willing to take the necessary steps to move on.
Here Are 8 Must-Do Things To Feel Liberated After A BreakUp
1. Cry A River
Cry until your cheeks turn red and your stomach hurts.
You can’t move on if you repress your feelings. Let yourself feel your emotions. Be angry, be sad, be whatever you are feeling and let all those negative emotions out. It’s okay to cry, and sometimes a good cry is all we need.
2. Cut the Strings
Now this can be difficult one for most. Some try to stay friends after a breakup or even try to become friends with benefits. Very few can make this work. Understand that feelings may still be involved and that has the potential to cause further complications.
Will you be able to handle seeing your ex moving on with someone new? Do you truly believe you can stay friends with your ex? Will keeping in contact with your ex stop you from moving on?
It can be tempting to keep in contact, but keep the communication at a minimum. Figure out what is best for you.
3. Delete/Hide Your Ex From Social Media
After a breakup, the first thing most people find themselves doing is looking through their ex’s social media feed. It isn’t healthy for you to constantly wanting to know what they are up to and who they are with. And it can damage us even more seeing them being happy with others.
If you know seeing pictures of your ex will hurt you- delete them. You should focus your time on yourself and healing, not browsing their feed.
4. Create A Killer Break-Up Playlist
Music is powerful. With every lyric and note, we can find ourselves relating to a song and think that that song was made for us.
Create a killer break-up playlist full of songs that you know will help you move on. Find songs that will make you cry, songs that will make you angry, songs that will make you feel stronger.
Get lost in your own world.
Go on and lip-sync for your life or belt out those breakup songs in your room. You’ll find liberation and motivation to move on.
5. Put Away Your Relationship Mementos
It’s tempting to keep mementos of your relationships-photographs, gifts, messages- but keeping those around can be a constant reminder of your relationship and it can be very painful to see.
Now it’s not necessary to purge and throw these items in a fire while circling around, chanting a curse on your ex. But give some serious thought and ask yourself “Is this worth keeping around? Will keeping this item help me move on?”
Put those items in a box and hide it away. Go through your phone and delete photos from your gallery if you know seeing them will hurt you. Do all the steps necessary to keep those reminders away from you.
Out of sight, out of mind.
6. Have A Support System
Talk to a trusted friend. And make sure the friends you confide in are friends that trust and respect you. The last thing you need is a “friend” that is just there to be a rebound.
When we are emotional, we tend to close off from the world and from the people who care for us. But know that your friends and family are there to listen.
It’s okay to have a night out with your friends. It’s okay to have fun. Surrounding yourself with people who care and respect you can make the healing process easier. So don’t be afraid to let them in.
7. Appreciate The Positive
Often times we forget the good and remember the bad. But it’s important to remember the positive experiences you’ve had. What have you gained from the relationship? What have you learned about yourself?
It’s easy to hold resentment after a breakup, but learn to let go and move on from the negative experiences.
Check out this article to learn how to let go of resentment.
Although a total cliché, we don’t know what the future may hold. And things happen for a reason. So try not to focus of the what if’s and don’t rush into anything.
With the appropriate time and steps, you can learn to be happy again. Breakups can make us stronger and we can learn more about ourselves.
Just remember, baby-steps.
What do you do to help you move on from a breakup? Share with us in the comments!